Standing Bravely in Love
Cosmic Light Drops
Virgo Full Moon 7 March 2023
Wow y’all, my system is really in it! How are you doing? I mean sure we knew that March was going to be BIG, and we’ve been preparing for it. That said, feeling into the energy and Being In the Energy are very different… Now first to say, it is also absolutely fucking beautiful, not in the cotton candy clouds and puppies cuddling with kittens way, its more like a double rainbow appearing in the midst of a hurricane. Everything is blowing around, rain and hail pelting your skin but there, just off in the distance, so close you can almost see the ‘pot of gold’, with colors so bright, made all that more vivid by the dark gray clouds all around, is an enormous interconnected full sky double rainbow.
So yeah, there is a tremendous amount of shifting happening right now, what’s that old saying “shift happens”. That set of huge Nazaré skyscraper waves we’ve been building our spiritual muscles for, has come in. This is why we’ve been expanding our hearts and lungs, so even if (when) we are taken down; we can remember to let it flow; to ‘hold our breath’ until the turmoil passes and we can swim back to the surface again. Sometimes this will be easy, a quick reset, others we might need to take to our beds for a day or so. It is our hearts that will help carry us through the roiling of the waves. This is why, more than anything else, our heartspace is where we’ve been called to prepare for this moment. I shared in the Venus Point Activation (replay now available) on the 28 of February that our old wiring had us running our wounds and traumas, our griefs and rages through our digestive system; part of the upgrade, the evolution that we as human beings are experiencing now is a deeper and more profound connection to our hearts. Enhancing the strongest muscle in our entire bodies as we re-member our true capacity to feel. Which in turn helps us be brave enough to allow our hearts to access the most difficult emotions. To re-member that our Hearts were in fact made to be broken, that they have immense capacity for healing.
On that note I feel called to share some of the words from an excellent song by TV on the Radio called Province, that really speak to the energies of this Virgo Full Moon Lunar Cycle, the days leading into and the week or so after; as we approach the Equinox and things get, well more on that in another update…
Hold your heart courageously
As we walk into this dark place
Stand steadfast erect and see
That love is the province of the brave
This is the first chorus, honestly I could (and possibly will) share every word of this song, it speaks to this current cycle in such a profound way.
So what are the astrological frequencies that are shaking things up so much right now? I suppose we should start with the ‘star’ of the show, no not the Sun nor the Moon.. once again it's Saturn, Lord of Karma and Time.. The ringed planet, home to Sun Ra, is shifting signs - moving into Pisces for the first time since the mid 90’s, a couple hours after the Full Moon Peaks. Mercury the Messenger passed through an exact conjunction with Saturn as the month of March opened up (during a still very active Venus-Jupiter-Chiron-Shiva conjunction - more on this coming). Now fully in Pisces, Mercury is still ‘technically’ conjunct with Saturn, it almost feels like Hermes touched in with Saturn to collect any last messages before Khronos leaves Aquarius for the watery realms of Pisces (not to return to the sign of the water-bearer for another 28 years +/-). As this Virgo Full Moon peaks, Saturn will still be in the final degree of Aquarius, and making an very tight Air Grand Trine with Horus exactly conjunct the “dark star” nebula known as the Infrared Dragon, very near the stellar dimension we call Arturus in Libra; and the Queen of the Crossroads herself, Hekate now shifted back into forward motion, in the sign of Gemini. This gives me all sorts of feels. I haven’t brought in the Infrared Dragon since Saturn went retrograde last year on 4 June, 2022, honestly I had basically forgotten all about this amazing stellar birthing station (discovered in 2010); that is until the other night as I lay down to sleep and heard, add the Infrared Dragon to your Virgo Full Moon chart. It's made even more interesting when combined with the knowledge that I signed up to attend a special retreat on the Dragon Line in the mountains of San Luis Obispo CA a day before; a retreat which will happen just days before we officially enter eclipse season with the 2nd Aries New Moon of the year.. Did I mention there is a lot going on this year, LOL…Ok where was I, oh right Saturn making a final Air Grand Trine with Arturus and the Infrared Dragon now with Horus along for the ride. When I talked about this back in June I mentioned that we are being asked to see Saturn in a new way, by which I mean we are being asked to explore our relationships with Karma and Time in a new way. Hekate joining this party over in Gemini and having just recently shifted back into forward motion feels like a powerful re-mind-er that we can see in all possible directions; we just have to let go of those stories that we’ve told ourselves about time being linear. Okay so back to last night.. Mike wanted to watch the movie Everything, Everywhere All At Once. I laughed, I’m not sure there is a better cinematic depiction of the energies I am speaking of than this. I sat loosely watching the beginning of the movie, multitasking, as I started planning my coming trip to, as we call it here, “SLO”. I recall that when this movie was in theaters a couple years ago I saw the poster, knowing nothing about the story, the title gave me chills of deep knowing. I could feel how we are all Everything, Everywhere, All At Once; most of us have simply forgotten how to access these “other” aspects of our-self. I was in full focus on the movie for the second half, when the Mother begins to see the Father, to truly see him (and yup, now I’m crying here in the coffee shop as I type). She realizes that his kindness isn’t naivete, it is simply his preferred method of “fighting”. As this knowing starts to permeate her being she realizes that she doesn’t need to kill, to defeat, that this is not a battle for territory it is a “battle” for the soul and this type of “war” can really only ever be “won” with Love. Being able to be Everywhere, to see Everything doesn’t make the Ever Present Now meaningless in fact it makes it the most important and beautiful thing ever. Can you take this journey with me, re-member that the “Ever Present Now” is actually Love. Try allowing this to permeate your being as the Mother did in this movie. Actually let’s take this a step further. Let’s let them be “stand ins” for the Divine Mother and Divine Father, the consciousness and the form. In the beginning of the movie she felt that she “had to do all the fighting” because he was weak, wouldn’t do it. As the movie continues she begins to see that he was holding a stage upon which all of her could dance, even that part that felt it needed to fight, that was stubborn, that was angry and felt hurt. When she realizes this, the Love within her grows and she is then able to communicate with their daughter (the Divine Child) in a new way. A wholeness blooms and these two beings (mother and daughter in the movie) find that they can enjoy their access to the Everywhere, to the Everything to the All at Once while remaining in the Ever Present Now, being in LOVE.
So yeah, just a light little Hollywood movie right.. Can we feel how this is also depicted in the Astrology of Saturn, just about to shift from Aquarius to Pisces, in a Grand Air Trine with Horus conjunct the Infrared Dragon, the Divine Child and a Stellar birthing center that is named for a being that holds the energies of unification; sitting next to one of our incarnation centers the stellar dimension of Arcturus. We too are re-membering that we are embodied souls, that we are here on purpose and for purpose, that as we access more of our light, our multi-dimensionality we don’t lose the now, instead we gain a capacity to be ever more present.
Before we bring in the energies of Saturn’s shift into Pisces there is another aspect that the Planet of Structure is making during these last couple days/ hours in Aquarius. Interestingly this is some energy that was also very loud right around the September Equinox; when Kali, in Taurus, was preparing to shift retrograde. Now we find Kali just about to emerge from her post retrograde shadow, and conjunct once again with Sedna who's been doing deep work in the final degrees of Taurus for over a year now. These two are dancing together again now Kali once again atop the Stellar Dimension of Algol (Medusa’s Third Eye) and Sedna still atop Alcyone (the central star of the Pleiades). Kali and Sedna together is a powerhouse of Feminine re-claimation energy that if not for their strength could get “toxic” pretty quick; but with the strength and wisdom they hold, the wholeness the ability to confront demons, and show us ours, from a place of deep love; they allow us to also engage with our demons (shadows) and come back into right relationship with these aspects of our-self. This dynamic Quad (when we bring in the death and rebirth energies of Alcyone and the true sight ‘wisdom’ represented by Algol) are making a nearly exact Square with Saturn as this “father figure” prepares to leave Aquarius. A final dance to help us embody the truth about who we are; about who and what the masculine is, and who and what the feminine is. To help us re-member that we all hold both of these energies within us and like the mother and father in the ‘All at Once’ when we allow ourselves to see how these aspects compliment one another we no longer need to drag one down but can allow our wholeness to rise up in unison.
This feels like it is where the Sun and Moon would like to enter. You see, Algol is located where Medusa’s Third Eye would be in the constellation of Perseus (her severed head), this star has been called the Demon Star but much like Medusa’s ‘monsterization’ this was all due to a misunderstanding. Now that we know more we are able to see a higher truth about both the star (a binary system that eclipses itself) and the Goddess, a victim no more. So as Algol conjunct Kali is square dancing with Saturn. Medusa’s asteroid is sitting nearly exactly conjunct the Sun in Pisces, which means also exactly across the wheel from the Moon over in Virgo. Now here’s an interesting little piece to this particular grouping. Pisces is ruled by Neptune, which is also in Pisces right now. One of the Medusa stories says that she and Neptune had intimate relations, sometimes this is said to have been consensual and others not so much. Medusa is said to have been part of Athena Priestess temple, a virginal outfit, her coupling with Neptune whether consensual or no, left Athena angry and she punished Medusa by banishing her to a remote island and cursing her (making her into a monster that would turn men to stone). Part of Medusa’s current journey is a re-claiming of her story, rising up and saying wait, I am no victim, and I am definitely no monster. For me it is a kundalini story, a story of wisdom and creative power that was feared and monsterized. When the story was written it was given a “note of credibility” by making the goddess Athena the one who punished her, it's a story of the perils of being too promiscuous and even other women know that's wrong.. This is made even more obvious when we re-member that a virgin is actually a being who is whole unto self, unencumbered, unmarried. It actually never had anything to do with sex. There is a lot more to the story, Medusa became pregnant with Neptune (Poseidon's babies), she didn’t actually birth them until her head was removed and Hygiea healed her blood. It’s a lot to go into, so rather than going into a whole ‘classics’ seminar let's explore the amazing energy that we can feel as we realize that the Full Moon is sitting in the sign of the Virgin (Virgo), shining its bright spotlight on the unconscious story that we’ve been telling ourselves about what it means to be powerful creative beings (regardless of the body type your in) through stories like this. Through this powerful spotlight as the Sun fully illuminates the Moon we are able to see the transcend these unconscious beliefs to come into a greater wholeness, and through this re-claim our story not his-story or her-story but the whole fucking story.
I was just feeling called to bring in all the super powerful Aries energy that's on offer right now; and I remembered that our friend, and the masculine counterpart to Athena, Mars, is actually making a loose but still very potent T-Square with the Sun and Moon. Mars, like Saturn and Medusa, is helping us come into ‘next right relationship’ with its planetary energy. To see past the old archetypal stories of war and anger, to allow the frequency to rise up and be seen as our passions and drive, the place where we initiate and push into the new. Isn’t that just what a Square also asks us to do, to look at things in a new way, find a passage through a perceived obstacle. I like to say that Square asks us to bend our vision so that we can see around a corner. With a T-Square we are given a runway to help us take flight and see the path from a different point of view. Mars will also be shifting signs this month and is just about to emerge from its retrograde shadow giving us even more fuel for this flight into the new.
Which brings us so very nicely into all that Aries energy. When I was announcing the Venus Point Activation, I mentioned that we opened the month of March with an exact conjunction between Jupiter and Venus, this conjunction was also visible in our early evening skies and still is as of this writing. Venus moves much more quickly than Jupiter, so the planet of beauty, love and luxury has passed through this exact conjunction now. As of this typing “she” is moving through an exact conjunction with Chiron and by the Full Moon on the 7th will be in an exact conjunction with Shiva. Jupiter will be expanding our connection to our wounds to an even greater degree during this Full Moon and in the days afterwards coming closer and closer to Chiron, they will meet exact from the 9th-15th for the first time in 12 years (then both in Pisces)… This is giving us HUGE access to our wounds; and if you happen to be a Chiron in Aries (Hi there, me too with a Jupiter and Mars conjunction no less), this could be an interesting couple weeks. The wound represented by Chiron in Aries is about our sense of self. Aries holds the frequency of I Am, it is the first sign of the zodiac, it is where you ask yourself who am I, not necessarily where do I belong that’s Cancer energy and not who am I in relation to those around me, that's Libra energy; but the profound and the deep Who Am I? When you personally and we collectively are experiencing Chiron in Aries we are being given an opportunity to explore this deep question. When expressed from our wounds and traumas it can feel like i am not, or if I AM will I be accepted, what happens if ‘they’ don’t like it. There can be a lot of self doubt with this particular alignment. It is also a space of profound shifting and enormous growth, which can also feel like dying because the small “i” is… with Jupiter expanding our access to this energy many of us may feel some deep and painful ego death sensations. Like I said earlier this is a powerful and beautiful month but it’s not all lollipops and unicorns, or maybe it is depending on how much you enjoy shadow work. One thing I really cannot emphasize enough though, whether you are super comfortable exploring your shadows or they scare the fuck out of you, do not be afraid to call in help. I have been feeling a lot recently about how over the centuries villages/ communities would have maybe one or two medicine people or shamans, with only a small scattered percentage of “masters”. There is an enormous gratitude within me and an understanding of the “why”.. in this time so many ‘teachers’ have come through and more are activating everyday. There are teachers and guides everywhere, if you are hurting find someone you trust, a friend or counselor, a therapist or a healer of some other variety; you are reading these words right now which means that I am also someone you can reach out to, send me an email, or a comment on the YouTube come over the Members Portal, I may not have the answer but I do have an ears to hear you, eyes to witness you and a heart to feel with you. You can also call in support from your Multi-Dimensional beingness, from the Angels and the Elementals, from the Divine, Source, God, Goddess. Mostly re-member you are not alone, you are never alone!
I am feeling another passage from the amazing TV on the Radio song coming through:
Suddenly, all your history's ablaze
Try to breathe as the world disintegrates
Just like autumn leaves, we're in for change
Holding tenderly to what remains
And all your memories are as precious as gold
And all the honey and the fire which you stole
Have you running through all your red-cheeked days
Shaking loose these souls from their sacred hiding space
It is these times that we are asked to re-member the courage it takes to say Yes to embodied existence. To feel the way only a heart can feel. To break the way only a heart can break. We are in a period of enormous growth, but like all growth cycles balance is restored through the breaking down of old structures. If we hold too tightly to the old, the labor pains can feel so much worse. It's like those Nazare waves, if you go stiff when one crashes over your head it is likely to break your neck, but if you plant yourself firmly on your board and allow yourself to be carried the ride can be exhilarating, and it's important to have a damn good tow crew with you either way…
In some ways Venus conjunct Shiva as all this energy plays out feels like part of our damn good tow crew, allowing Love to be the foundation (board) upon which we plant our feet so that we can ride these waves of change.
This is what I have been feeling so much as these shifting energies, this new way of being, has been coming through. That it is about the heart, the strongest muscles in our entire physical being. I spoke about this in the opening of this drop and also in a new Energy Update on the Tube: Enter the Ever Present Now with Saturn and the Virgo Full Moon, yet it feels to be spoken for us once again. When all else feels lost go into your heart, let it break into a thousand, million pieces as you cry and weep for all that is disintegrating. Then let its beautiful Green, Pink and Blue Light wrap you in Love. Our Hearts were built for this they are meant to break it just makes them stronger, with each break they expand and grow larger, able to hold more and feel more. To be an ever brighter light through the deepest darkest nights. Our tears purify us, this is why our emotions are tied to the water; and water is the prism through which the full spectrum of light emerges. Vesta is calling for the floor quickly as I speak to all this heart light. Goddess of the Eternal Flame (the spark of light that is our connection to the divine), Vesta is almost exactly conjunct to Jupiter during this dance with Chiron, she remains by their side throughout. There is a sense with this that we are being held with enormous love during this process in all dimensions. The light of the Blue Flame is igniting to ever greater degrees within our consciousness and our beings. As we re-member, we are this Divine Love and it is through us that it is being born into the Now.
Wow, there is so much more I could bring through for us, this portal is amazing, it is beautiful, it is a roller coaster ride of divine proportions. I don’t want to overload our already probably pretty tender systems though. So let’s begin to close this edition of Cosmic Light with the second chorus from Province:
Hold these hearts courageously
As we walk into this dark place
Stand steadfast beside me and see
That love is the province of the brave
I do have a funny little piece to bring through just before we close actually.. Circling us back to the hours after the Virgo Full Moon peaks, as Saturn tips into Pisces where it will remain for the next couple years… I shared in the Pisces New Moon Light Drop that the last time this happened was as I was graduating from High School. This is true, actually Saturn entered Pisces in May-June of 1993, as i walked the graduation stage, then a couple days after my 18th birthday having begun a retrograde cycle dipped back in Aquarius until January 1994 where it stayed until April 1996. This is the exact same time period where I found myself traveling around the US, living a life outside of time and structure, much of it spent traveling alongside a band called Phish, whose “mantra” is Surrender to the Flow… This morning in meditation I found this coming through with an understanding that with each turn of the cosmic wheel we, with each ‘return’ we are given an opportunity to unlock a new level of understanding, to move into a new way of engaging with an energy. For myself this means staying within the world as I also surrender to the flow. How are you called to explore this new relationship with time currently on offer?
If it calls to weave ever further, you can come explore the Blue Flame Member’s Portal, a beautiful community space where we journey together as we re-member our unique medicine. In this space I facilitate a Live Transmission Activation circle every New Moon, a Violet Flame Release every Full Moon, and all sorts of yummy content and treats throughout each month. You can learn more and become a member here: https://www.patreon.com/blueflameapothecary
Speaking of yummy treats, over the portal of the turning of the year, as Sirius reached their apex I was called to create, activate and tune some delicious teas, powerful smokes and releasing soaks. Explore this collection and all my Apothecary Frequencies here: https://www.blueflameapothecary.com/the-shop/the-new-year-blends
With a deep bow of respect, gratitude and love for the courage you show each moment as you journey through this embodied beingness, sharing love and letting your heart break as your ability to love expands
hils
