Balance Beams & Free Falls
COSMIC LIGHT DROPS
LIBRA FULL MOON - 5 / 6 APRIL 2023
I am opening this edition of Cosmic Light with a confession, well confession isn’t really the right word. Really it’s more a statement of where I’m at right now, literally as I sit here and all morning as I’ve been tuning in, I’ve been asking ‘what is this energy I’m feeling, where are you calling me?’ I brought up the Tilt-A-Whirl during the Sun-Chiron Trine the Great Attractor Energy Update last week, with this tilting and whirling there is also a sense within me of “jitteriness”, you know that feeling when something big is about to happen and your entire system is getting ready. It actually reminds me of when I’m in the audience before a concert, especially for a band that I really like (Ween comes to mind at the moment). It's a sort of can’t sit still, mind racing, whole body ready for the ecstatic dance that is about to move through. I now understand on a deeper level it is not simply MY anticipation and joyousness that I’m feeling, as I wait for the band to take the stage, it is a room full of people in a state of excitement, ready to spend the next couple hours in rapturous dance, to become one in sensory experience of sound and light.
I am feeling now how much anticipation, excitement and fear can feel similar in the body. There is an ungroundedness to it. In the case of me in those 10-15 minutes before the concert begins I literally already can’t stand still, dancing to the sounds as the audience talks; occasionally rising up in what I refer to as the “spontaneous Woo”, which is similar to the wave at a sporting event but more organic, the collective consciousness of a room full of people all feeling for a moment where they are about to go and like a group on a roller coaster letting loose an exclamation of exhilaration as they crest the hill. In the case of this moment, here now as I type and feel into the energies of not just this Libra Full Moon Lunar Cycle but the whole month of April it is this roller coaster like exhilaration and fear that is moving through me. I can feel so much is ready to birth a new cosmic dance is about to begin, yet there is also some intense “getting ready to shift out” energy. It feels like “we”, each of us, in some way is going to be asked to let something go, to let a part of our-self die.. Of course it will be a part of our-self that isn’t actually us, but that doesn’t mean it won’t hurt; then as we move through this death we are aske to find our center again, to get back on the balance beam, re-center and allow more of our-Self into our being.
This is a Libra Full Moon, which means that the Sun, our outward expression of self is in Aries the energy of re-birthing, of action and re-new-all; Aries resonates to the frequency of starting a new cycle. The Moon, our un-subconscious, is holding court over in Libra; where balance in our relationships is highlighted. So during just about any Libra Full Moon, we are given an opportunity to explore beginning a new cycle where we bring more of our True Self into our relationships, coming into a greater state of balance with the world around us. Before I move on there is something more that wants to come through about this idea of “Coming into a greater state of balance with the world around us.” An exploration and an invitation, I invite you to take a moment and let your feelers penetrate deep within your being, into your Solar Plexus in particular. From here allow your-self and your-Self to open a dialogue as you ask, how can I come into a greater state of balance with the world around me? In my inter-personal relationships, in my interactions with all the beings to whom I connect. How can I come into a greater state of balance with my environment, with the world, with Gaia?
This exploration is a very powerful place for us all to play over these coming days as the Sun shifts through a conjunction with Chiron in Aries with the Full Moon casting her spotlight into our cellars, opening an energetic line for us to explore all the ways we have modified our behaviors in order to get along. There is a reason this exploration asked us to penetrate our Solar Plexus not our Root, because it is not actually “balance” if you are not interacting from a place of em-power-ment. As the Full Moon peaks we find the Sol-Chiron conjunction moving through the final days of a lovely Trine with the enormously powerful Great Attractor; I often refer to this gravitational vortex as a giant space vacuum, however at this moment it is coming through as a serpent, which is quite interesting given that the analogy I most often use, when talking about the Great Attractor, is ‘sucking the poison from our wounds’. Let’s see where this is going… The serpent is associated with wisdom, it is said that Sophia is the serpent, that she gifted Adam and Eve with consciousness and Eve in particular with Wisdom. Oh… I see yes, I almost wasn’t going to say anything as the aspect is pretty loose by degree.. However she wants to be heard and who am I to say no to Black Moon Lilith, at 9° of Leo she brings the Fire (Sense of Self) energies of the Chiron-Sol conjunction Trine the Great Attractor into a Grand Fire Trine. She won’t actually be exactly Trine the Great Attractor until the summer but it makes sense that she wanted to be heard now; Chiron and the Sun are considered “masculine” energies, BML helps us to balance this, to bring a bit more heat to the feminine side. Giving us an energetic framework to connect to the wounds that exist within our access to feminine energies and to masculine energies; perhaps we can even start to explore our personal Mother and Father wounds, call them up to be witnessed, to be held, to then ask the Great Attractor to gift these wounds with rapid transmutation. Last month as this Trine between Chiron and the Great Attractor was being activated by Venus, Jupiter, Shiva and Vesta, I received a vision of what lays within the center of the Great Attractor. I share this with you all now. There is an energy, a field, it goes by many names ‘Source’, the ‘Quantum Field’, are a couple; in this vision it was presented to me in its Qabalistic form as Ain Soph. To begin to touch in to this extremely elusive energy I share with you this passage from the Qabalistic texts: “AIN SOPH may be likened to a great field of rich earth out of which rises a myriad of plants, each different in color, formation, and fragrance, yet each with its roots in the same dark loam–which, however, is unlike any of the forms nurtured by it. The “plants” are universes, gods, and man, all nourished by AIN SOPH and all with their source in one definitionless essence; all with their spirits, souls, and bodies fashioned from this essence, and doomed, like the plant, to return to the black ground–AIN SOPH, the only Immortal–whence they came” Ain Soph is the name of God before Self-Manifestation, and is also sometimes referred to as the “pure vacuum of Spirit”, as motionless and infinite space. This is what I was shown exists at the center of the Great Attractor. It is this energy, the “pure space vacuum”, that we re-lease to when we call upon this cosmic realm; what we let go of is taken back to the origin place, brought back into the realm of the “no-thing”, that it may re-formed into its next greatest expression as we too, gifted through this process, may also grow into our next greatest expression.
As I was beginning to bring through this energy, with the invocation of Sophia’s name, she called me to her and asked to be placed in the chart for this Libra Full Moon. Let’s call her in even further as we place her in the cosmic blueprint. From the beginning, from the Ain Soph, first came sound, then light, of course to say one came before the other is almost as rich as the loam itself given that the dimension of time had not yet been created… The twins (the masculine aspect of God and the feminine aspect of God) were also created during this phase, all beingness was light, Sophia playing in this field of light with her twin brother. Now there is some mystery here, which I adore. Some texts refer to Sophia as the ‘Mother of the Christ’ (Yeshua) others state that Christ is the brother of Sophia. I have shared many times that when I have connected with the frequency of Sophia and Mother Mary that they feel ‘of the same energy’. By which I mean that they are part of the same family, we could view this as “Soul Group”, for me it feels more like all “Divine Mother” archetypes Mary, Isis and Humea in particular are aspects of the energy we call Sophia; you could say that all Goddesses throughout the pantheon are aspects of the Sophia, by which I mean they are all Feminine Wisdom Keepers, how this energy, this wisdom, is then expressed varies as we move through their stories. Sometimes it is a hurricane, a destructive force to help clear away the old, others it is a song to call the new into being; it is all embodiment. We have explored a bit of Sophia in relation to the Garden, now with this Gnosis of her relation as Tree of Life, the trunk from which all other Goddess energies emerge, let’s place her in the cosmic blueprint for this Libra Full Moon, finding her where else but exactly across the wheel from the Galactic Center and making a very powerful Mutable Grand Cross with an opposition between Ceres and Neptune.
The asteroid named for Sophia is sitting at 27° of Gemini, the Galactic Center is at 27° of Sagittarius. Before we bring in the energies that are crossing these two I am feeling a call to share with you a vision I had a couple years ago when connecting with the black hole at the center of this Milky Way Galaxy. I invite you to let the energy of this vision move into your heart space, opening your heart like a blooming flower. Feel yourself now floating through space, from a distance you can see a beautiful spiral galaxy, arms outstretched, spinning around a center brighter than any light you’ve ever seen. You feel yourself called to this light, like a moth to a flame, let yourself free fall now into this Galactic Center, surrounded by all this light, like Sophia, you can feel a tugging at your heart; there is something more, a new light within an apparent blackness. You dive into this void and find yourself in a cave, you can feel the energy of birth here as you notice now a beautiful many breasted being suckling the universe. Each breast connected to the black hole of a different galaxy throughout all the dimensions, feeding - sourcing each of these galaxies with light that blooms out in all directions, with each new branching creating a new unique form, each connected back to the source, to the mothers milk.
Can you feel the power now of an opposition between the asteroid named for Sophia and the Galactic Center? Wisdom and Source standing across from one another, an opposition could be viewed as a place of tension, a push-pull, however it is also a vantage point from which a better view is enabled. From a distance we can view things in a new way. This is what wisdom is after all, isn’t it, the ability to take a long view, to see things from various perspectives and allow a deeper truth to reveal itself. Of course this also means allowing old ideas and perceptions to fall away. I am hearing that saying “out with the old, in with the new” as we ready to bring the other players in this Mutable Grand Cross through. So Neptune has been in Pisces for a while now and will continue to do so for some time yet to come. The Galactic Shaman, as I like to call Neptune’s energy, is in an ever tightening square dance with the Galactic Center. Currently at 25° of Pisces, Neptune won’t make this Square exact until March of 2024, however until this energy makes it out of Pisces in 2025 we will be feeling the effect. Neptune helps us access that which has been hidden from view, and squares ask us to see in a different way; here square to the Galactic Center we can feel an invitation to see beyond our preconceived notions of where we are sourced. This is a BIG restructuring, which will take some time, it feels like this is why we will have this energy template running for so long, we even get a couple Neptune retrogrades over the next year and a half to help us recheck our internals as we make these monumental leaps of consciousness. Across from Neptune we find at 26° Virgo the seed planter, Ceres, Goddess of the harvest, in the sign of the Earth Priestess. I’m feeling even more now why that vision/ meditation wanted to come through for us, Ceres is currently moving retrograde, helping us connect to how what we consume also consumes us. To remember that everything we take in has the potential to become what we are. This retrograde cycle over the next month will pull her out of contact with Neptune and the GC but she will turn around on 7 May (2 days after the Scorpio Full Moon Eclipse), making her way back to this square dance, exactly squaring the GC in June… I have been feeling a deep ungroundedness about the eclipse wormhole that we are entering; we don’t reach the event horizon until the Aries New Moon on the 19th but the gravitational pull is getting quite strong at this point. I can feel now that Ceres moving backwards in opposition to Neptune as they square off with the GC over these next couple months (or in the case of Neptune years) and over the peak of this Full Moon with Sophia making it Grand, that this ungroundedness is part of the falling away. Mutable energy remember is that of endings, we are ending old limited ways of experiencing the universe, that’s fucking huge. It's understandable that letting go and trusting the information that we are receiving is true (especially when it's coming from the unseen) feels a bit like dying.
I’m feeling a story coming through; circling us back to that “confession” energy I was feeling as I opened this Cosmic Light Drop; the other day I decided to go out for a donut journey. By which I mean one of my favorite types meditation walks; I go and get myself a GF donut and an oat cappuccino, stroll to the skate park down the street, where I eat my donut and drink my coffee as I watch the kids (and the adult kids) skate. I play with the birds and the insects, with the light and the elements. I dance and stretch and sing. Sometimes I am called home after this practice, others further along to explore and meander the surrounding neighborhoods. On this day I was called to journey back towards home. As I walked I could feel tears welling up, I was about to say goodbye to something, it felt so difficult, I didn’t want it to go away. I could feel that the way I had been going about these donut journey’s was no longer the medicine my system needed, that this way of journeying had run its course. I am not sure if I am no longer going on donut journeys or if it is some other piece of the meditation that is shifting out, whatever it was I felt a deep sorrow that lasted the entire day. It also feels connected to San Francisco, to my Mission neighborhood. I am not sure if I am being asked to re-lease because it is time for me to move, although this would not surprise me, my Jupiter return becomes exact in the days just before the eclipse on the 19th, but I can feel that I am being asked to stay open to this possibility. I allowed the re-lease of that which was ready to shed. I have a sense there are many more layers to come. I grieved and asked for help, to be held in the arms of the God, the Divine Source. I said please help me have the strength to let go of what is ready to phase out when it is ready to go, let me not cling out of habit or fear. Let me re-member that my ability to let it go is the ultimate expression of Love.
Speaking of expressions of Love, I am called to share that Vesta (the Eternal Flame) is making an ever tightening Trine to the Galactic Center over the next week; while Venus trines Ceres. These two have asked to come through and sit within your being, they wanted us to re-member that this spark of divine light that is love is holding and gifting us through these processes.
Speaking of gifts, we have a beautiful one coming for us on 11 April, it is 11/11 day (4 (April) + 2023(7) = 11). Numerlogically speaking this would already be an amazing portal of energy to work with, however it gets even better because on this day we also have the Sun making its annual conjunction with Jupiter (sometimes referred to as “miracle day”). The fairy god being, our guardian angel planet of expansion, meeting with Sol is a day where we are invited to open up, to receive; to let the frequencies of expansion move with of our sense of self and our place in the world (i.e., manifesting your destiny), this happening in the sign of Aries is inviting even more powerful creating a new way energy. To have it also be on an 11/11 day, well whoweehowdyshucks (as the ‘Oblique Strategies’ character says in the movie Slacker). This is mighty, mighty, powerful energy. When the cosmic architects roll out a carpet this encoded with golden light, it feels like a pity to miss it. So I invite you to begin feeling in now, to start to connect in with the truth of what you desire, not what your ego desires but your true heart's desire, your souls desire. To ask your-Self, is there ritual or ceremony, a mediation that will help me access my truth during this portal. I can share that even as I am typing this a question that I had been asking about crystal charging has just come through.. I had thought maybe on the Full Moon I would be holding a crystal charging ceremony, its starting to feel like it's gonna be on Miracle Day (to which I laughingly say, “Really Guides? That’s a lot considering I leave bright and early the next morning for a Dragon Line retreat”). Well if it's true then time will not be an issue, I also heard a strong launching the Soul Path Journeys come through, whoweehowdyshucks, indeed..
This Cosmic Light Drop is winding to a close, before it does however there is another coupling that wants to come through. Mars, ah Mars, now heating things up in Cancer, helping us take new action within our sense of belonging, to explore new ways to be in our family structures, still conjunct with Hekate; together are making a lovely Trine with the South Node in Scorpio. Hekate shining her torch down into the ‘where we’ve been’, lighting up the old ways in which we’ve powered ourselves (Scorpio is about our power), they are also in a Sextile to the North Node is Taurus, helping us take what has been revealed through the gifting Trine and bring it forward to make manifest a new way of belonging. All the while, still retrograde (for a couple more weeks), we have Isis conjunct Persephone at the 0° of Virgo in a lovely Trine to the North Node, Sextile to the South and almost exactly across the wheel from Saturn. They are reminding us to go within, that it is from connecting to the wholeness of our being, the truth that lays within that we are able to create the foundations that will allow this New Earth to become manifest.
To help us navigate the energies I will be bringing through the Violet Flame Re-lease Ceremony, Transmission and Meditation for the Libra Full Moon tomorrow, in the Blue Flame Members Portal; a beautiful community space where we journey together as we re-member our unique medicine. In this space I facilitate a Live Transmission-Activation-Share circle every New Moon, a Violet Flame Release every Full Moon, and share yummy content and treats throughout each month. You can learn more and become a member here: https://www.patreon.com/blueflameapothecary
I will be opening up the new Soul Path Explorations and Light Activations soon, sign up here to be notified when they are activated: https://www.blueflameapothecary.com/soulpathwalk
Encoded with Light and Crystal Activated Apothecary Treats are available in the shop, delicious and powerful Ceremonial Teas, Cacao, Soaks, Smokes and Frequency Sprays, explore all my offerings here: https://www.blueflameapothecary.com/the-shop
If you have not already be sure to check out the Blue Ray’s and the Blue Flame Transmission on the YouTube channel, while you’re there be sure to Subscribe to be notified whenever I upload new frequencies: https://youtube.com/live/VQyCi39H4QA?feature=share
As we continue this journey towards the Eclipse Event Horizon, as we allow the not ours any more to continue to fall away and balance on the beam of the most true right now. As we explore our re-memberings and re-negotiate the terms of this embodied state of being; I share with you as always and in all-ways so much and many loves from and through all the dimensions,
Hils
